First of all I wanted your attention, hence the title!
Our perception of things are often different from what our minds tell us. Or would like us to believe?
I’m typing this and filming from one bed to another. I’m awake and present. It wasn’t always the case.
The past few years I would wake gasping for air, sweating, or punching something and then the dread would come and I wouldn’t and couldn’t sleep. Insomnia is a rumination challenge. Some would say “nightmare” but for me I love to use the word “challenge”. That is until first of all I got Fidget my nearly 3-year-old Jack Russell. I was aware she was there, extremely loyal, by my side. The practice of self compassion, being present, breathing and re-centring myself was aided by her presence in my life and in my recovery from CPTSD(Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Like most mothers watching her baby breathe, I began to watch Fidget breathe, her little soft tummy going up and down. The little twitch bringing me back to the present and how grateful to have such joy in my life. I felt safe, loved and nurtured. If I’m having a bad dream and shouting out (no longer lashing out) she gently wakes me up licking my face, distracting me and bringing me back to my breathe and the present.
I was a a 4-5 hour sleep type of girl. Now me and my body are getting the right sleep that I’ve craved all these years. It used to be, when I heard people say “oh, I sleep at least 8-10 hours” and I would be thinking, “that’s just weird lol”. I’m in that rest and be thankful bed club now. Oh and my wellbeing is dramatically improving.
So this film is Fidget sleeping beside me and aiding me in my journey of mindfulness, self compassion and being present. You may want to watch the whole thing or not. Go on , try it- and focus on the breathing.