Friendship is what you give as well as what you get

“Friendship doesn't have to be two-way-I make meals, go to the shops, do favours for my neighbour. I wouldn't go for a pint with him, but I get s


At Mind Waves, we support each other. We tell stories, we listen, we share ideas. Officially, it’s called peer support. We just call it being pals.

We’ve spoken a lot about how much we appreciate our friends and what they mean to us. But we also talk about how important it is to be a good friend.

Feeling that you make a contribution, that you have something to offer to other people, in really important for our mental wellbeing. It’s a funny thing, that part of self care can be about offering something to other people, whether it’s something formal like volunteering, or something simple like sending someone a text to see how they are.

The great thing about those friendships is that you don’t have to be “compatible”. It doesn’t matter if you have nothing in common, or if you’d usually be pals- by helping each other out you find a way to connect. It can be surprising who ends up being important in your life.

Of course, nobody wants a friendship where the other person does nothing but take, or doesn’t appreciate what you do. But often there’s as much to be gained from helping someone out as there is from them helping you. And life is long. The people we help today might be there for us later.

It works the other way around too. Even if you feel that you’re relying on other people just now, remember that they’re getting something out of it too. It’s only a matter of time until they’ll nee something from you.


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