We’re pleased to present a poem from our newest community correspondent, Maureen Gilmour. It’s called The Orchestration of My Anxiety.
Tap, tap,the conductor holds his baton….here it starts.
Drum roll…..thrumming vibration in my torso….the tremor, shaking begins.
Palpitations. …faster and faster the beat increases.
My heart pounding in my ears, the echo like a Base drum, keeping rhythm.
Gut churning, the need to urinate….into the loo…the flute sounds….the tinkling of urine.
Then the wind section begins.
And so the symphony goes on…..Fear, trepidation, anticipation, anxiety, the negativity, doom, gloom, catastrophising.
Playing to my audience of strangers, ignorant to the facts.
In the pit of my stomach the symptoms build, rolling waves, like a washing machine, it reaches its crescendo, like symbols crashing.
Face flushing, sweating, shaking….outwardly calm.
Exhaustion, tiredness, an overwhelming need for it to stop!
The quietness of the aftermath….but yet……
The continual thrumming, awaiting the next…..
The conductor lifts his baton…..tap, tap and on so it begins….here we go again.
Me…..an expert in the orchestration of my anxiety.