Getting back to work is so important for my recovery, but getting there is incredibly difficult just now

Emma, with pink hair

Like many people, I find this time of year, with the darker days, pretty difficult.

This year it’s particularly hard. I’m still recovering from what 2016 (and 2014 and 2015) threw at me so I am starting at a bit of a disadvantage. I am SO tired.

Getting to work and being productive is incredibly difficult at the moment. I am doing it, but it is having a toll on my life outside of work. Work is so important to me and my recovery that I need to work out how to balance this with my recovery. I had a couple of months off work earlier this year due to a breakdown in my mental health, but my return to work has been instrumental in my recovery. It is particularly important to me to do whatever I can to keep myself well and stay at work. I’m currently throwing everything at this to get me through the difficult winter months while at work.

I take a lot of vitamin C; I would happily snack on my tasty chewable vitamin C tablets. I’m taking high dose vitamin D tablets, trying to get out for walks but with the shorter, cloudy days there’s not much natural sunlight. I have a SAD lamp  on my desk and I find this helpful. That extra bit of light helps me feel a bit more awake.

I am trying to get back into exercising before work, but it’s  a battle and a bit of a catch 22.  I know it’s  good for me and helps my mood, BUT, some days it’s so difficult to get out of bed,  into my gym clothes and to the gym or go for a run. Plus the actual effort of the exercise , the shower , doing my hair and so on .

So I can’t work out at the moment what is best. Lately I have prioritised me over doing the things I THINK I should be doing. I’m just dealing with today and not adding in any extra challenges. I’m not sure if it’s the best approach. I’m so tired – I might feel more awake if I do exercise. Like I said, it’s a bit of a catch 22.

Overall I am SO much better than I was at the beginning of the year and that’s the most important thing. But I’m keen to try and keep the balance right so I can continue to be well, be functional and productive at work. This gives me reason to be and makes me feel like I’m actually doing something useful, which I don’t personally feel when I’m off work.

I’m beginning to feel the benefit of some of the things I’m doing. I do have some days where I feel awake and useful and productive. So fingers crossed this will help – and so will my week off!

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