I am managing this, I am doing it, I am taking control – part 3 of a diary of antidepressant withdrawal

happy emma

Our Community Correspondent Emma Goodlad shares her experience of reducing her antidepressant medication

Four weeks in, I’m  feeling a lot more normal.  The only side effect that seems to be lingering is the fact that fatigue is figuratively kicking my ass.

I am a zombie today, I didn’t notice this morning on the way into work that I was looking right at a colleague for a good 30 seconds until I was almost beside her. I can hardly concentrate for more than a minute or two, my eyes are in and out of focus and I actually feel so tired I don’t think it would be safe for me to drive today.

But –  and it’s a big but-  it’s far outweighed by the fact that I am managing this, I am doing it, I am taking control. I have got through four weeks of this and that means I can keep going and I know what to expect now.  

And I know that I can do it myself – my husband apologised when this began for being away for that weekend, but even at that point I knew that it was better he was away.  He was saved from feeling helpless while I sobbed and wandered aimlessly. He didn’t have to watch the worst of my pain and instead spent a good weekend with friends he doesn’t see too often.

And it gave me a huge sense of pride – I did this, by myself. Yes I had support and I can’t thank people enough, but I did it. I spent the weekend myself, it was a shitty weekend, but I didn’t need saving, I didn’t need anyone to hold my hand every step of the way, and that is liberating.

I plan to continue documenting my journey and hope that it continues to be onwards and upwards. But if it’s not, I have tried, and I have tried my hardest to see where I can get to.

Emma has been sharing her experiences along the journey.

Read part one here.

Read part two here.

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